It is impossible to know what someone else feels. This is true for both transgender people and health care professionals. It is also impossible to know the exact situation at home, at school, at work. Imposible to know the exact feelings about being transgender, about what is needed (or not) and about what is tolerated by other people (or not). Our conclusion is that people should NEVER advise about the steps other people should take in their transition.

Mental Health Professionals (MHP's) are not, never were and never will be able to know for sure if people need hormones or surgery. The fact that they claim that they are able to do so is in our opinion very irritating, because the questions they ask are mostly irrelevant and are based on incorrect assumptions.

In our prefered health care model, the mentor-role is replaced by a coach-role: the transgender is always in the lead. The MHP will just ask questions. Not to assess, but to help transgender people that need help. Coaching makes clients stronger because they are the directors of their own lives. Mentoring makes people weaker because they do not learn to think (and feel) for themselves: someone else takes over that role. There are transgender people who do not need help of a coach or a MHP.

In some cases the currently mandatory psychologist is damaging in our processes because they use power to enforce their ideas: "if you do not begin your RLE, you will not get surgery".